Should you start setting up goals for 2021?
Personally, I’m not in a rush.
What I seem to notice with 2020 is that I was and still very much is attune with everything, especially with the passing of time.
I remember the feeling when we reached March, the start line of this crazy race. It was the beginning of the lockdown in the country that I’m currently living.
I remember the uneasiness on my birthday in April.
I remember September where I thought it would be the month where it all end.
Then came October, 3 months before the end of the year. So fresh, so near.
Like any other people, I open YouTube daily. Some days to check what’s up. Some days to check what’s on. Around that time, my YouTube homepage was filled with videos that encourage us to take control of these last 3 months of 2020. Those videos urge us to rethink about how to end the year greatly. Ironic?
Those videos ask to use our time, to somehow end this year like we would end it like any other year. Greatly. Proudly. Strongly. Telling you and me that we need to get back on the grind, set up a clear set of calendars, bounce back to a healthy diet, and setting up goals for the next year, 2021.
I didn’t think it will be hysterical to think about it now. At that time, I thought it was the best type of video I came by this year. I was blinded by my affection for result. Thinking if I can end the year great, I can completely forget what I have not been doing during those months. I was so sure by doing this; I will be able to forgive myself of all the time I wasted not being productive. At that time the process was eclipse with an empty promise of a perfect end result.
Don’t get me wrong, I love how I work. I’m a huge planner person. I put everything on my calendar. I know when things need to be done. But I also enjoy the last-minute thrill which is completely inappropriate from my mom point of view. But there came a time as a normal person do, a sense of doubt. Did I do enough?
Fortunately, I am still in university. I got something that kept me busy through most of the period of the pandemic. I have classes, lectures, and homework to be done. But one thing I lack is my creative output. I was so discouraged by people’s brilliant innovation during the pandemic, which caused numbness to my own creative ideas. As I am struggling with this, I keep battering myself with profound guilt that I didn’t do my part to somehow help people, to some degree. Whether to provide entertainment or sharing knowledge with other people during this pressing time.
3 months passed; I didn’t do any of the recommendations that I have written in my black notebook. I was occupied with many tasks, essays, and presentations that I have to do for the semester. Moreover, I was occupied with the upcoming exams and thesis proposal. All of these make me feel like I wasn’t lagging behind.
But a feeling came 10 days before the year end. Where all seminars are complete, and the semester is near the end. I catch my thoughts telling myself to do it. Screaming: “make plans!” or “you still have time!” and so on. But do I? And do I even want to use it? Will it change everything?
Today, I remember myself in July 2020. There I was looking straight ahead to the upcoming month of September, thinking; the light at the end of the tunnel is near. Coming past that, I realize the light is still so far away. Magically now the light seems dimmer than before. I didn’t have a plan then and don’t have a plan now. So I stop and think; 2021 will still be there even if I don’t write those goals, well, one can only hope.
December 2020 does not feel like the end nor the beginning of something. It is a completely different version of December compared to the ones that we have before. Where personally, it usually be filled with memories, nostalgic feelings and all of the technical features that tell us that we near the end of something. But this one is different. Surprisingly, the most forgiving one of all. So no, I don’t think I will be writing my 2021 goals any time soon. Not because I don’t feel the situation will die down soon, but because there is no point in rushing. I don’t want to put expectation to myself to do something that would be near impossible with all of the pressure around me, let alone living in a pandemic.
Because of this, I feel the wheel is still rolling, the country that I’m living is still in a state of emergency, and the fight is still not yet end. It might be the same where you are. Realize that, be forgiving and it might all feel a little bit light to carry on.
There is nothing wrong with taking time to understand the situation. So, this is a reminder to me and you all that it’s okay to go with the wind. We might be surprised by what we achieved later on. It might be more than we might have thought.
This forces me to be intentional. Which obviously will take time. Push me to choose wisely, give thoughts to which one is worth pursuing and which one is not. I did say that I may not be setting up my goals for next year anytime soon. But I won’t punch myself if I did. I may end up writing my goals a day before 1 January 2021, I may even write it tomorrow or 3 days after that, there is no fault in that, because in the current climate even news change every half a minute.
But even if I did decide to write it, I can guarantee that it won’t be like any other list, it will be short, necessary, and full of intentions.